The New Year’s Practice That Changes Everything (And It’s Not Goal Setting)
As the year draws to a close, it is natural to start thinking about the new year. Once January hits, resolutions and goals are everywhere.
For most of my life, as soon as the last of the wrapping paper and ribbon was thrown away, I was ready to write my New Year’s resolution and a long list of goals. The resolutions were lofty, and the list was often more than anyone could reasonably do in a year.
More importantly, my goals were guided by what I thought I should be doing.
Lose weight.
Eat more healthfully.
Read more.
None of these are unreasonable goals. But I never asked a crucial question:
To what end? Where are these goals taking me?
That question is where I realized something was missing.
Vision is the missing piece
Vision is like your guiding north star: a far-off place you can just make out, but that still feels clear and bright. Without vision, goals lack direction and purpose. Goals are not the end. They are only the path that moves you closer to your north star.
Your north star vision is the place where you are your truest self and living your most authentic life. It is where your work, relationships, and inner world are aligned with your values and your purpose. It is a place that feels grounded, peaceful, and deeply true.
Vision is not something you write down once and get “right.” It is something you refine over time. The more you allow yourself to be unconstrained by the practical and the predictable, the more your subconscious can reveal what your deeper self actually wants.
Why vision is hard to see
If it feels difficult to see a clear vision that is truly yours, you are not alone.
It takes quiet.
It takes honesty.
It takes the willingness to notice where your life is running on other people’s expectations.
These are not easy to access in a fast-paced world that worships productivity and constant output. As women in medicine, you are conditioned to respond to everyone else’s needs first. Vision requires the opposite: turning toward yourself.
This is why I do not recommend jumping straight into a long list of SMART goals as soon as the calendar turns.
Before you start making resolutions, give yourself the gift of reflection. Let yourself explore the kind of life and way of being you actually want, not the life you think you are supposed to want.
What follows are reflection prompts to help you begin to find your north star and gently clarify your vision. You do not need perfect answers. You only need honesty and a little space to listen.
Reflection Prompts to Help You Find Your North Star
Use these as journal prompts or quiet reflection questions. You do not have to answer them all at once. Notice what stands out and start there.
1. Looking back at this year
When you look back on this year, what moments stand out as truly meaningful?
Where did you feel most like yourself?
Where did you feel most misaligned, drained, or out of place?
2. “Shoulds” vs. true desires
What goals or expectations were driven by “I should…” rather than “I want…”?
Where did you say yes when your honest answer was no?
If no one were watching or evaluating you, what would you quietly admit you want more of in your life?
3. Values and how you lived them
What values mattered most to you this year (for example: family, freedom, growth, contribution, creativity, rest)?
Where did your actions reflect those values?
Where did your life drift away from them, and what did you notice when that happened?
4. Glimpses of your north star
Think of a day or moment this year when you felt at peace, fulfilled, or deeply alive. What was happening? Who were you with? How were you spending your time?
If you had more days like that, what would your life look and feel like?
When you imagine your future self feeling grounded and aligned, what is different from today?
5. Making space for your own vision
What voices, expectations, or pressures tend to drown out your own inner voice?
Where might you need a little more quiet or breathing room to hear yourself?
What small shift in the way you move through your days would make more space for your own vision to emerge?
6. A gentle closing for this year
As you close out this year, what are you grateful to be leaving behind?
What are you proud of yourself for—even if no one else saw it?
If you chose one word or phrase to describe the direction you want your life to move toward, what would it be?
You do not need to act on any of this immediately. This season can simply be about noticing.
Your goals in January will be far more powerful if they are anchored in a vision that is truly yours. For now, let this be your work: listen, reflect, and begin to find your north star.