What I’m Choosing at 55: A Reflection on Values

Another birthday, my 55th, is here. I’m excited about what this next year will bring, and I’ll be honest, a little wary about what new ache might make itself known. I’ve been laying the groundwork for the next chapter of my life, making significant decisions about my career as a physician and my coaching business. As I do this, I’m reflecting on my values.

Values represent beliefs about what is essential. We have them, whether we articulate them or not. Values guide our decisions, like a compass. Living in alignment with your values isn't easy, but it does make life easier; it's like floating downstream in an inner tube rather than swimming against the current. When we act in conflict with our values, we may experience stress, conflict, doubt, resentment, or anger. 

The values I keep returning to and choosing to anchor into for this next phase are connection, growth, joy, freedom, and love. 

Connection

Connection means being in relationship with myself, others, and something greater than me. 

Over the past few years, I've learned the power of self-connection. To live my life, not someone else's, I need to know myself, be honest with myself, and be the source of my love, acceptance, and worth. Though I am an introvert, connection with those I love is essential. In the past, I've lost track of this, focusing so intently on work that it was difficult to be present with anyone, even when I was physically there. 

I've learned that connection is a choice and requires authenticity and vulnerability. At times in my life, I have been guarded, masked, and armoured, waiting for the right time to be vulnerable, to trust enough, to feel enough connection that I would be safe. However, without showing my whole self, it is impossible to truly be seen, truly be connected. 

Connection also means being in relationship with something greater, a higher power, the universe, life itself. For me, this includes surrendering what isn’t mine to carry and remembering that I am part of something larger, something living and interconnected.

Growth

Growth is about continually learning and evolving. It invites me to take risks, to be challenged, to stay curious.

Building my business is a huge growth edge and part of what attracts me to it. The challenge, of course, is not letting “growth” become another word for “not enough.” Growth isn’t about chasing an unreachable version of perfection. It’s about expanding, not to prove anything. There is no destination. Growth is the process, not the prize.

Joy

The word joy has its roots in Old French (joie) and Latin (gaudium), meaning rejoicing, happiness, delight, and pleasure. 

I want more rejoicing, delight, and pleasure in my life. Joy has not been what I have tracked to in the 55 years of my life, and it is now time that I do. 

From now on, I'm going to honor what lights me up. Give myself permission to experience pleasure, ease, and celebration. I'm going to orient myself to what is good and life-giving, even in small ways, believing joy is my birthright, not something I have to earn. 

Freedom

Freedom is the ability to make choices aligned with my truth.

It means being the sovereign of my own time, energy, and identity. Freedom doesn’t mean escaping responsibility; it means choosing it with intention and integrity. It asks me to follow my inner compass, not external expectations or roles.

Living in freedom means trusting myself enough to say yes, and no, based on what matters most to me.

Love

Not romantic love, though I like that too, but a larger force that connects us all. 

Love is open and expansive. Love asks me to choose belonging, not separation. Love is rooted in my belief that I am safe, that I can be vulnerable, that I don't need to contract and protect myself. Love asks me to see and accept myself as I am. Love asks me to see and accept others as they are. When I feel fear creeping in, it is love that I will turn to, asking myself, “How can I open my heart right now?” 

We all have values, whether we’ve named them or not. But naming them allows us to live with more clarity, alignment, and peace.

What are your values?
How do they guide your choices?
Where might you be invited to realign?